This part of the brain appears to inhibit emotional responses so a person can think coolly about what’s happening. At the same time, another part of the brain-part of the prefrontal cortex, which is the “smart” area of the brain-goes to work. Why? Research by Matthew Lieberman at UCLA shows that when people put words to their emotions-“afraid,” “angry”-the amygdala, that little biological threat sensor that can throw the brain into animal mode, cools down almost instantly.
You can do this silently if you’re in public or out loud if you’re alone, but either way it’s a critical part of putting yourself in control fast. The Power of “Oh absolutely crucial element in moving your brain from panic to logic is to put words to what you’re feeling at each stage. I’m not going to let this ruin my life/my career/my day/this relationship, and here is what I need to do right now to make it better. Sh#%-this stuff always happens to me.Īlright, I can fix this. Oh my God, this is a huge mess and I’m going to get stuck with cleaning it up. This is a disaster, I’m screwed, what the hell just happened, I can’t fix this, it’s all over. And when you do you’ll have the advantage over everyone else in the room, because you’ll be the only person who’s actually thinking straight. In fact, with practice, you can do it in about two minutes. In short, you need to move almost instantly from your reptile to your mammal to your human brain. In a stressful encounter, to keep from blowing a chance to reach another person, you need to get your thoughts and emotions under control in minutes-not hours. The first and most important rule for taking control in a stressful situation is this: get yourself under control first. If that hunger isn’t filled, we develop what I refer to as “mirror neuron receptor deficit.” The Most Important Rule for Taking Control In A Stressful Situation And each time we mirror the world, it creates alittle reciprocal hunger to be mirrored back. My theory, which my clinical findings support, is that we constantly mirror the world, conforming to its needs, trying to win its love and approval. In short, these cells may prove to be one way nature causes us to care about other people. Later they changed the name to mirror neurons, because these cells allow monkeys to mirror another being’s actions in their own minds. Scientists initially nicknamed these cells “monkey see, monkey do” neurons. In other words, when Monkey #1 watched Monkey #2 toss a ball, the brain of the first monkey reacted just as if it had tossed the ball itself. But here’s the surprise: these same cells fired when the monkeys watched another monkey performing these acts. Years ago, scientists studying specific nerve cells in macaque monkeys’ prefrontal cortices found that the cells fired when the monkeys threw a ball or ate a banana. But intervene before the amygdala hits the boiling point, and the person’s higher brain can stay in control.
THE ONE THING SUMMARY FULL
If you’re trying to talk facts and reason with a person who’s in full amygdala hijack, you’re wasting your time. Your adrenaline rush will keep you from thinking clearly in the next minutes, and it may take hours for the full effects to fade. We call this boiling-over point amygdala hijack.Your ability to reason drops drastically, your working memory falters, and stress hormones flood your system. When your amygdala hits the boiling point, however, it’s all over. As long as your amygdala stays on “simmer” and isn’t pushed into boiling over, you can continue to access your upper brain, which empowers you to pause, reflect, consider options, and make smart choices. Most of the time, however, the amygdala sizes up a situation before making its move. Sometimes when you’re really scared, your amygdala instantly shuts out your higher brain, causing you to act on primitive instinct. Ironically, the key to gaining “buy in” and then moving people through the rest of the cycle is not what you tell them, but what you get them to tell you-and what happens in their minds in the process. The focus, central tenet, and promise of this book, “the secret of getting through to absolutely anyone,” is that you get through to people by having them “buy in.” “Buy-in” occurs when people move from “resisting” to “listening” to “considering” what you’re saying.
THE ONE THING SUMMARY FOR FREE
🎧 Listen for free on Scribd (plus 1+ million other books) The Persuasion CycleĪll persuasion moves through the steps of this cycle.
That’s why if you have problems listening to other people (like I have), this is the book you want to read.
THE ONE THING SUMMARY HOW TO
However, most people (including myself) don’t know how to do it. Listening is one of the most important qualities anyone can have.
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